The Mental Home at Drew Corner: Winnie the Drew v2
by the-one-called-Drew
Summary: After 3 months, the return of my really screwed up parody of Winnie the Pooh. I recommend reading Winne the Drew first, so u understand this one. Chapter 2 up! PLEASE R & R!
1. 3 Months Later

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Authors Note #1: I do not own the idea behind Winnie the Pooh, but I do own the idea behind this story.

Author's Note #2: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST WINNIE THE POOH! I love that little bear, but this was an Idea that I couldn't't let by.

Authors Note # 3: Just so u know, Soo (the parody of Roo) is FEMALE! She and the others are all based on people I know. Also, Drew isn't made up. He's me. Nothing about me is changed. All the characters are my friends, only they look like the characters, with a few additions (Note - Characters that have no similarity to Winnie the Pooh character belong to me)

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The Mental Home at Drew Corner

Winnie the Drew Book II

A satirical mockery of the beloved Disney Character

Pt.0: 3 Months Later

(We see the 40 ½ acre wood. It is empty save for a single chair which the Narrator is occupying)

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Narrator: Welcome to Book 2. Didn't think it'd come to this did ya? (dead silence) Right. Well, it's been a long 3 months since the 1st book ended, so let me bring you up to speed. (Pulls out TV and presses play)

(Scene shows last part of Chapter 10. Drew, Nickger, Stigger and the cast are in Nickger's home)

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Drew: There's…there's a slight chance Nickger and his little fuck-friend are..are..

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Cast: Are what??

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Drew: Related. As in brother or sister.

**__**

Cast: Holy Shit!!! (Nickger and Stigger faint)

(Scene freezes on TV and we're back to the narrator)

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Narrator: Frightening eh? The though of inbreeding in our wholesome little book. Well, after some testing, you know, genes, semen samples, the usual, it was revealed hat they were indeed related. But- (Author appears and interrupts)

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Author: But not in the original sense. Turned out they were 5th cousins twice removed. But- (Nickger appears and interrupts)

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Nickger: But it was still odd. So we called it off and Stigger left. It happens

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Narrator: Ahem

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Nickger/Author: Sorry (walk away) 

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Narrator: Right. So, after the crisis ended, the Author was ready to start the second book. But Ol' Uncle Eisner and his Disney cult decided the cast was too similar to A.A. Milne's creations. To which we replied. "No Shit" We were slapped with a lawsuit faster then you can say "Sex Sells" (presses play)

(Scene shows courtroom. Drew, Author, Narrator and Nickger and their lawyers are on one side. Disney's high-priced lawyers are on the other)

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Judge: We will begin the proceedings when the 3rd party arrives.

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Drew: 3rd party?

(The Censorship committee enters)

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Author: Holy Shit it's the Feds!

Nickger: No you idiot, it's the censors. (shudders)

Censors: Nudity of this kind does not belong in stories based on children's characters…

(Scene goes back to narrator with TV)

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Narrator: After much thought, the author decided to kill two birds with one stone. Since Drew already had a shirt and shorts, he decided to give the others articles of clothing. Characters looked different, no more nudity. No more lawsuits.

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Stiglet: (appearing) Ya but we still got a pay cut.

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Author: (appearing) Shut up! Ya got 2 months vacation.. Jackass (both leave)

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Narrator: Oy. Back to me now. So the "improved" cast was given vacation time, and everyone used to in their own way.

(We see Drew in a pub babbling on in Irish)

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Narrator (voice-over) Our lead traveled to Dublin and spent 2 months drunk of his ass.

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Drew: (Irish accent) Aye pour me another round, it's all on me lads! (patrons erupt in cheers)

(Scene changes to Ropher and Jalicat walking among a large group of Japanese)

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Narrator: (voice-over) Ropher and Jalicat explored Japan, feeding on the rich foreign culture. (We see them at an anime convention) Ok, so I'm shitting you. So sue me.

(Scene changes to Disney world where Janga and Soo are getting pictures with the real Mickey Mouse)

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Narrator: (voice-over) The Kangaroos went to Disney world, all expenses paid, thanks to the nice people at Disney. 

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Mickey: Sorry bout the lawsuit you two, enjoy you stay.

Janga: No matter, Just don't do it again.

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Soo: (to Mickey) That's her way of saying thanks. 

(We see Stiglet in his home among a pile of videogames)

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Narrator: (voice-over) Stiglet… Stiglet spent 2 months playing video games.

Stiglet: (To Narrator) So?

Narrator: Nevermind

(Scene changes to Nickger and a female cat walking through a street)

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Narrator: And Nickger went across Canada, and found new love in Ontario.

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Nickger: (to cat) Will you come back to the woods with me?

Cat: Of course.

Nickger: (in mind) WOO-HOO!

(We cut back to the Narrator)

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Narrator: After the vacation, the cast returned. Nickger's new love, Vickitty, was given a contract and joined our little dysfunctional family. The Author began book 2, and here were are today. Enjoy.

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The End (Of Part 0)


	2. The Morning After

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Part 1: The Morning After

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Narrator: It was a cold morning in the 40½ acre wood. The cast relaxed from the pervious night's return party. And some needed more then relaxation.

(We see Stiglet waking up in a ditch. He is holding his head and has a black eye. His new clothes- red shirt and jeans, are torn)

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Stiglet: (hung over) Oh my head.. How'd I get here? (holds eye) What happened to my eye.. And my clothes! The costumes guys are gonna be pissed (pulls something from out from under him, eyes widen) Where'd I get this?? (he has a red thong in his hands) Yo, voice box!

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Narrator: You called?

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Stiglet: What happened to me?

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Narrator: Dunno. Do you remember yesterday?

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Stiglet: a little.. It was the cast party. That's all I remember

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Narrator: Well, ask around, someone's gotta remember,

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Stiglet: Gimme two aspirins and I'll go (Narrator hands him pills) Thanks. I'll start with Neyore. (heads off)

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Narrator: I do know what happened, but why spoil the story?

(We see Neyore, jointless and bongless, in a dark red shirt. He is awake and clean. Stiglet walks up)

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Neyore: Mornin.. You look like shit.

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Stiglet: It's morning? Wow.. Where's your bong?

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Neyore: I'm clean. I had an epiphany last night, and I've beaten the five-leaf.

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Stiglet: Great. You remember anything I may have done last night?

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Neyore: Besides drink the author dry.

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Stiglet: What?? Oh.. So I had a few beers.

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Neyore: Try 12.

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Stiglet: Shit.. Any idea where I would've gotten this? (pulls out thong)

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Neyore: Holy shit! Lemme see that!

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Stiglet: No. I gotta find who's it is, and when I do, I don't think they want your cum stains on it.

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Neyore: Shut up. Whatever, sorry dude, after you got drunk, I was gone. Try Ropher

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Stiglet: Thanks.. Laters (walks off)

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Neyore: Poor boy, no idea what he's getting into.

(We see Ropher asleep in his hole. Stiglet appears near the entrance.)

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Stiglet: Yo rat boy!

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Ropher: (waking up) What the fuck? Oh, it's you. How's your package?

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Stiglet: Woh! No guy should ever ask another that!

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Ropher: Didn't mean it that way. But since your walking it must be Allright.

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Stiglet: What? Why wouldn't my dick be alright?

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Ropher: You don't remember?

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Stiglet: No. That's why I'm here.. Now why wouldn't my dick be alright?

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Ropher: Gimme a minute. We gotta start a flashback 

Stiglet: Ok.

(Flashback) (We see the party. A drunk Stiglet is talking to Jalicat)

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Jalicat: Stig, you're wasted.

Stiglet: I'm fine.. And so are you.

Jalicat: What?

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Stiglet: You heard me (moves closer to her) 

Jalicat: You asked for it (Kicks Stiglet hard in the balls. He goes down in a fetal position.) Sorry. (walks away)

(End Flashback)

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Stiglet: Ah.. Well guess the alcohol acted as an anesthetic, cause I feel fine. But I guess these aren't hers (pulls out thong) Anything else?

Ropher: Nope, that's the last time I saw you. Go ask Drew.

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Stiglet: Ok, but I doubt this is his. (walks off)

Ropher: Drew is gonna kill him. Too bad/ Well, back to bed (goes back in hole)

(Stiglet heads towards Drews. We see Drew and Cabbit inside. Drew is in his shirt and pants, while Cabbit doesn't have anything)

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Drew: So when the costume department getting you some clothes?

Cabbit: Better be soon, it's getting really drafty.

(Knock on door)

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Cabbit: You gonna get that?

Drew: Ya ya; shut up, I'm still recovering from last night (holds leg) That stupid little (opens door, see Stiglet, gets angry) You!

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Stiglet: What the- (gets speared by Drew)

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Cabbit: (seeing the brawl) Shit, not again. (runs to door) Break it up! (pulls them apart) Stiglet, what the fuck you doin her?

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Stiglet: Came to find out what I did last night.

Cabbit: You don't remember?

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Stiglet: Nope.

Drew: Ok. Sorry bout the spear, didn't know. (holds leg)

Stiglet: What happened to your leg?

Drew: Same thing as your eye. Hold up, flashback.

(Flashback) (We see a drunk Stiglet and a drunk Drew arguing)

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Stiglet: You little fuck! Your always bringing me into you stupid plans, like that reindeer thing. And .. Fuck!

Drew: Ya, well you left me after that beehive thing you little plastered pork chop!

Stiglet: That's it! (kick Drew in the leg)

(Stiglet works over Drews leg, but Drew punches him in the eye. Drew grabs Stiglet's head and piledrives him. Nickger breaks them apart)

(End Flashback)

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Stiglet: Wow. I must've been really drunk.

Cabbit: Ya, you'd have to be wasted to brawl with Drew.

Drew: Ya, but no real harm done. Where'd you end up dude?

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Stiglet: I woke up in a ditch. You remember anything else?

Drew: Been there. Sorry dude, maybe Soo might know. She was with you after the brawl.

Stiglet: Shit. I gotta go, shit to figure out. (runs off)

Drew: Laters (to Cabbit) wonder what was up his ass?

(We see Stiglet closing in on the Kangaroo's house)

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Stiglet: (To himself) Shit, please don't be Soo's thong, please no!

(Stiglet reaches the door. He pounds it till it opens. Soo's there in her purple shirt and boots.)

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Soo: Hey, what's up?

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Stiglet: (pulls out thong) Is this yours??

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Soo: No, why, what's this about?

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Stiglet: I woke up in a ditch with a hangover, a black eye, no memory of last night, and this. Drew told me last time he saw me last night I was with you.

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Soo: Shit. Well, after the brawl, I dragged you outta of the room to get you some water and.. (laughs)

Stiglet: What?

Soo: You drank some of Nickgers leftover Viagra.

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Stiglet: WHAT???

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Soo: Let the flashback do the talking

(Flashback) (We see and aroused Stiglet staring at something. He pulls the author over)

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Stiglet: Yo, she's hot eh?

Author: Uh, Stiglet that's a coat rack.

Stiglet: So? I going for her! (walks over. Author's face twists)

(End Flashback)

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Stiglet: Shit.. I fucked a coat rack?

Soo: And a lamp, and a couch, and Nickger's fridge.

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Stiglet: Wow. I do anything else?

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Soo: Besides the brawl, hitting on Jalicat, and pissing out a fire, not that I know of.

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Stiglet: Ok.. Pissing out a fire?

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Soo: Nevermind.. Where you going?

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Stiglet: Nickgers. That's where the party was, that's the only place left. (leaves)

(We see Stiglet heading to Nickgers. Nickger, in his blue shirt, and Vickitty, in her black top and pants, are inside)

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Nickger: (picking up bottles and trash) Nest time the author convinces me to have a party here, stop me from accepting.

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Vickitty: Can do (looks around)

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Nickger: What are you looking for?

Vickitty: My- (knock on door) Hold that thought. (Opens door, sees Stiglet) Didn't you do enough here last night? (Sees thong in pocket) Where'd you get that?

Stiglet: That's what I came here to ask. And judging by you reaction, this belongs to you.

Nickger: (confused) What? How? Why?

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Author: (appearing from nowhere) That just leaves out who, where and when.

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Stiglet: Look, I just want to know what I did last night.

Author: Trust me, you already heard everything. Tell me, was the coat rack good?

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Nickger: You fucked my coat rack?

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Author: How bout the fridge?

Nickger: You fucked my fridge??

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Vickitty: That explains the dents. How did you get my thong? I thought I left it on the bed after the fight.

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Stiglet: Why'd you do that?

Vickitty: After Nickger pulled you off Drew, he knocked a drink on me. I went to the bedroom to change.. Ah.. 

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Nickger: What "ah"?

Author: Flashback

(Flashback) (We see Vickitty in the clothes she has on now. Her wet clothes are on the bed. Nickger and the Narrator drag Stiglet in)

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Vickitty: What happened?

Nickger: You know that white rug near the couch?

Vickitty: Ya.

Narrator: It's not white anymore.

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Vickitty: Oh shit. What are you gonna do with him?

Nickger: Put him here and keep him from the alcohol.

(The three leave. Stiglet stumbles to his feet but falls on the bed, his hand grasping the red thong. He gets up but stumbles back and falls out the window)

(End Flashback)

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Nickger: Didn't see you after that.

Stiglet: I must've tried to get home. Well at least I didn't kill anyone last night/

Author: Nope. You just embarrassed yourself completely.

Stiglet: Well, I guess I'll be heading home. Laters, and sorry about the mess (goes to walk out, Vickitty stops him)

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Vickitty: Ahem.

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Stiglet: (seeing thong still in hand) Oops. Sorry. (hands it back)

Vickitty: If I find any cum stains that aren't mine or Nickgers, you a dead pig.

(Stiglet and Author leave. We cut to outside)

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Narrator: And so, the previous nights events fresh in his mind, Stiglet goes home feeling better and-

Stiglet: Shut up. Little fuck doesn't't tell me what I did when he knew and…. (trails off)

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The End (Of Part 1)


	3. Winnie the Drew & The Beer Truck

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Part 2: Winnie the Drew & the Beer Truck

Narrator: It was a quiet day in the Sleep & Fuck Motel, our cast's current location, as they prepare for the new cast convention. In Room 13, our hero Drew sits calmly as morning sets in. 

(We see Drew passed out on a bed)

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Drew: (sleeping) ZZZZZZ… what's with all the white??…ZZZZ

(Alarm rings)

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Drew: (Screaming) It wasn't me the corpse was there to begin with!!! (looks around)

What the.. Oh ya, the convention. Well, back to sleep again. (lays down)

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Narrator: Ahem.

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Drew: What?

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Narrator: Your not gonna sleep through the whole chapter are you?

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Drew: Maybe.. Well, I am thirsty.. And I think 72 hours is long enough for a nap. (gets up and begins stretching) 

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Narrator: What the hell are you doin?

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Drew: Stretching. I need to be in shape to drink. (bends down to touch toes, a rip is heard.) I gotta get a bigger pair of pants. (walks over to a case of 24) Beer beer beer… AHH!!! All empties (collapses in a fetal position)

(The sound of a bottle opening is heard. Drew turns to the narrator in anger)

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Drew: BEER!! Give it to me! (Jumps and attacks the narrator) (From off screen) Budweiser?? I'd rather drink piss! (walks onscreen) There's gotta be beer somewhere (looks out window, sees beer truck across the street) Too simple…but still good. I'll need some help though.

(5mins later, outside room 7. Drew knocks on door)

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Cabbit: (from inside) Hold up (opens door) What's up?

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Drew: You. Me. Rob. Beer. Truck.

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Cabbit: Huh? What?

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Drew: Just get a coat and follow me.

(We see Drew and Cabbit outside with a box)

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Cabbit: Isn't this something Nickger would help you with?

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Drew: Normally yes, but I heard moaning from his room and decided not to knock.

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Cabbit: Good call… what's in the box?

Drew: Do-It yourself truck robbing kit.

Cabbit: Where the hell would you get something like that?

Drew: Mail away. Now let's get to work.

(Drew sneaks behind the truck as Cabbit walks up to the drivers)

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Cabbit: Hey, nice day eh?

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Driver 1: Yup, lazy day.

Driver 2: Nothin to do but wait for the store to open.

Cabbit: Yup (looks as Drew enters the truck) So how much booze you got in there?

Driver 1: (looking in rearview mirror) Not much after that fat beat gets through… wait a sec.. Get him!

(Both drivers run to the back)

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Cabbit: Bail out Drew!!

(Drew and Cabbit run away as the drivers chase them. They reach the motel and jump through Neyore's window)

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Neyore: What the hell?

Drew: Sorry dude, being chased, need exit.

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Neyore: It's cool

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Cabbit: Yo Drew, I'm heading back to my room.

Drew: Laters (turns to Neyore) Yo donkey boy, got any booze?

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Neyore: (pointing to some 6-packs) I may have a few.

Drew: most excellent,

***20 Mins later***

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Drew: Well, that quenched my thirst. We thank you very much.

Neyore: No prob.. Why are you heading toward the window?

Drew: Forgot something outside. (Jumps out window, gets stuck) Well this is just grand.

(10 mins later. The cast are outside Neyore's window where Drew's upper half is)

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Janga: Another fine mess you've gotten yourself into.

Drew: Shut up

Stiglet: How you gonna get out?

Drew: Dunno, that's why you're all here.

Ropher: I could blow up the motel. (cast stares at him) You got a better idea? 

Nickger: Don't worry Drew, we'll get you out. Just give us sometime.

(Cast walks a few feet away)

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Nickger: Allright, any ideas (looks as Ropher opens mouth) not involving explosives.

Cabbit: We'll think on it.

Vickitty: Ya, I mean one of us will think of something.

(2 Hours Later. The cast has re-grouped in Nickger's room)

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Stiglet: So, any bright ideas folks?

Jalicat: Well, if he could loose all that beer weight he gained he'd be fine. 

Soo: I got an idea. (Cast looks at her)

(We cut to outside Neyore's room. The cast is with Drew)

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Drew: You wanna what?

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Nickger: Give you an enema.

Drew: Why?

Vickitty: We figure you'll piss out all that beer weight you got.

Drew: Who's idea was this?

Soo: Mine. It made sense at the time.

Drew: Sense or not, nothing is getting shoved up my ass.

Ropher: I could always blow up the motel.

Drew: (wide-eyed) Do it.

(We cut to inside the room. Nickger and Soo are inside. They are behind Drew, whose pants are too his ankles and who has a bedpan beneath him.)

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Nickger: let's do this, I don't want to see Drew's ass more then I have too

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Drew: (from outside) I heard that.

(Knock on door. Nickger opens it. It's the Censors)

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Censors: (speaking as one, like the Borg) We cannot allow a scene like this to transpire. Please move forward in the story or you will be sued.

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Soo: Fine, ruin our fun.

(Scene moves forward. We see Drew outside cringing. Pissing sound is heard. Drew's face relaxes as he feels the weight leave him.) 

(5 mins later)

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Fowul: How long can he keep this up?

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Ropher: Well, he drank a hell of a lot. Give him time.

(Pissing sounds stops, then starts again, then stops.)

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Drew: Ok, I'm done.. Now get me out!

(Cast pulls of Drew's arms. They pull so hard that he shoots out of the window and into the side of the unmanned beer truck. Cast runs over as Drew crawls into the truck)

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Janga: You Allright?

Drew: I'll be fine. (we see Drew inside surrounded by beer cases) I'll be just fine (opens a case)

Narrator: And so, with his thirst ready to be quenched, we leave Drew in his private heaven… At least till the drivers come back. 

(Camera pulls back from the truck as the drivers return)

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Driver 2: It's that bear again! Get him!

Drew: Shit not again!!!

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The End (Of Part 2)


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